To be alone, to cry alone, to sit and look at the walls around me and be reminded of him. Why cant I remove these pictures of my past, pressed to the wall when I loved him. Why in my blurry, misty eyed misery can I not tear down whats tearing me up. Inside i feel hurt, in my heart I feel love, and in my mind I feel stupid. I knew what was in the letter, in the writing, in the words. I didn't need to open it, but I did. I found hurtfull sentences of words I didn't say and never intended to, thoughts placed in my mouth I never thought. Yet I cried uncontrollably for something I loved so dearly that I had lost control of. Not just lost but taken. I didn't loose it, it left, I didn't let go, it walked away. From the troubles in my life I see Im alone in this blinding world of fear. In this mistaken identity of reality. Do I really comprehend whats going on- or am I making myself hate him, so I don't have to miss him...